Forgiveness... A Shoutout To My Husband
After a rough night working through jet-lag with Wes, by the end of the day I was short and impatient. I’m noticing that I tend to reserve all my patience for him and I run out of it for Mark, when I’m especially drained. I'm working on that...
I don’t even remember what happened but out of an act of impatience I said or did something and Mark's frustration grew. I caught myself and apologized. Mark has become so amazingly good at accepting an apology.
Forgiveness is often taken for granted. Early in our relationship, Mark needed a few days to cool off. He needed space to heal, but it hurt and was hard to not feel punished after I apologized and was ready to make up. Now, he accepts it, we kiss and do our secret handshake (yes, we’re geeks and we actually have one – you can borrow the idea because you know you love it).
Being forgiven for being a butthead feels so freeing. You make yourself vulnerable when you apologize. It can feel like the other person has the upper hand. Choosing to forgive someone when your feelings have been hurt can be an act of kindness not only for the other person, but also for yourself. Think of a grudge you’ve been holding. Does it feel good to you – like fill your soul – that you’ve been making them wrong and making them “pay for it” all this time? My guess is, probably not. Now think of a time you forgave someone. Think of how good it felt when you came to an understanding and talked things through. Bet you hugged at the end. Both sides win.
I thank my lucky stars that most of our issues are related to poor communication and misunderstandings, and are resolved pretty easily and right away in most cases. And I’m so grateful for my husband, who is patient with me even when I’m impatient with him. Gives me attention, when he gets less of it. Is thoughtful and considerate when I tend to overlook and forget. Tells me I’m pretty and smart when I feel shabby and clueless. Tells me I’m a good mom and wife, which are the biggest compliments in the world right now. And while he doesn't have to, he F O R G I V E S.
No one said parenting – especially the first year – was a walk in the park. By being grateful, being committed to peace and sticking to a foundation of love, we get through it and hug it out when times get tough.
What do you need to forgive someone when your feelings have been hurt and how do you articulate it? It can be as simple as just saying it.